


Purple Flowers and Burning Fire

by Xou



Category: Baccano!
Genre: (heavily hinted though), Asexual Character, Dysfunctional Family, Gen, I'm Sorry, M/M, Minor Violence, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 01:10:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9099838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xou/pseuds/Xou
Summary: An extract of Dallas life, from purple flowers to burning fire.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [littletoes101](https://archiveofourown.org/users/littletoes101/gifts).



 

A tiny little pudgy hand was wrapped around one of his fingers so tightly and Dallas, in his young mind, could only wonder how something so small could be so strong at the same time.

 

When he first heard that he would have a younger sibling, Dallas reaction had been less than happy, for multiple reason. He didn't get along with his older brother, the bruises on his young body witnessing that fact. A younger sibling would not help anything, Jeffrey would continue his abuse on his body and as usual, his father would not say anything, because he didn't know anything. He was never here enough to care about his own child, growing under all those expectations. And that even if he was the second sibling and Dallas knew from the beginning that his father had no expectations toward him.

 

His mom was looking at Dallas, as he himself, looked, full of wonder, at the baby girl holding his finger while she was sleeping.

 

A large small illuminated her face.

 

His mom was the only thing that was always there for him, even if she had always been sickly, having to stay in her room most days, simply because she was too weak to go outside. Still, Dallas could sit all day next to her, his mom telling him story in her native Spanish language as he listened to her while slowly learning to braid her hair.

 

As the afternoon light was softly setting on them, his mom would continue to tell him story of her past, how she grew up in the street, to end up falling in love with Raymond, that made her live as a princess and how she couldn't believe her luck, to be given two beautiful and healthy children and soon a third one. A third child she trusted Dallas to take care of, as was his role as their older sibling. Even after her death, those would be the memories where Dallas recalled being the happiest, even if they were bittersweets.

 

At first, he was not sure he would be able to take care of a younger sibling, even if his father insisted that it was his tasks.  

 

'' Listen, Dalia, if you want to be married one day, your husband will want children and you need to be able to give him that.''

 

Dallas didn't say anything. Jeffrey had taught him that it was better to say nothing, even if he didn't consider ''Dalia'' to be his name and he had no interest toward marriage or creating a family with someone his family would have chosen for him.

 

And yet, as he looked at the tiny hand holding onto his finger and the sleeping face of his younger children, Dallas could not help but to think it wouldn't be so bad to have a child on his own one day. Of course, not for now, he was still too young for that and he was not sure how it would work with his body like this...

 

But that would be a concern for another day. For now, all that existed was him and Eve, his beautiful younger sister.

 

 

At first, Dallas didn't want another kid in the family. And yet, as he thought about it, he hoped for a younger sister. Oh, Dallas wished for it to be a younger sister. If it was another boy, it would just be another proof that Dallas himself could not be one. And yet, if he had a younger sister...

 

Dallas remembered holding his breath and wishing so hard for a younger sister. Someone to prove that he was not alone. Someone to be all of what he failed to be. Someone that would not hurt his body with punches and hits, something so sweet and pure. A sweetness and purity he himself would never be able to replicate. So many shooting stars had passed, closed eyes and hold breath paying off, because he was holding in his arm the price for all his effort, his own little sister he would protect at all cost.

 

 

Slightly shifting in her sleep, Eve softly woke up from her nap. Dallas send a panicked look toward his mom, but the woman only smiled calmly without making a move.

 

Nervously, as the baby started fussing, Dallas delicately took her in his tiny arms to calm her down. He was barely able to hold the girl himself, being so small himself and yet, Eve only reaction was to look at him curiously, not worried one bit that he would drop her. Maybe she was still too young to worry about those things, but still, Dallas nervously smiled at the young child, silently promising that he would never hurt her unintentionally or let her down.

 

The smile illuminating Eve face in return was what made him promise to protect his younger smile against the whole world if he had to.

 

 

<.X.>

 

On the day of their mother funeral, Eve didn't cry.

 

She probably was too young to understand the whole concept of death, not quite a baby anymore, but not yet forming her first sentences, having to hold her older sibling hand not to fall over on her small legs. She was still so very small, looking at the world in wonder with her bright brown eyes. Even if what she was looking at right now was her own mother being buried in the ground.

 

Dallas, on his part, was holding tightly onto his younger sister hand, trying to keep all his tears at bay too.

 

He knew it wasn't strength, but maybe he wished for some of her innocence to not be touched by all of this. A boy wasn't supposed to cry in public.

 

Jeffrey had told him so, mocking him relentlessly when he cried out at the abuse of his older brother. Just another proof that according to Jeffrey, Dallas could never be a boy in his eyes.

 

But his mom had never been like this. Even as she was on her deathbed, she always believed him when Dallas addressed himself as a boy.

 

And his mom, the mom that was always so kind and understanding toward him, was buried in the ground, Dallas tried really hard and failed to hold his tears in as the curious eyes of a young Eve was watching him with curiosity.

 

She didn't understand. And maybe it was for the better.

 

 

Because of that, she could be strong enough for both of them.

 

 

<.X.>

 

 

It went without a say, Jeffrey abuse on his young body grew so much worse after their mother passed away. The matter become worst when Dallas, now a little older but still so young, decided to officially ask people to address him as ''Dallas'' and use the correct pronoun for him. He also cut his once long hair for it to be short and started wearing old clothing from his brother, that were just a little too big on his small body, but so much more comfortable than the dress he used to wear. And then the worst part came, his dad abuse came along with the bruises his brother applied to him, blue and purple flowers blooming all over his body, just because he was the way he was.

 

And yet, Dallas did everything he could to protect Eve, making his best for her to avoid the same abuse he lived. He carefully trusted her to a young black servant, called Samantha (Or was it Samara? ... Who cared.) to raise her, the black plump woman somehow reminding Dallas of his own mom in her strong accent and her shiny black hair. He didn’t know a lot about the young servant, but he knew that she was kind and would stay fateful to his family to matter what would happen. All that mattered was that she was kind to Eve and that his younger sister would have sort of a mother figure while growing up. Even if she had to grow up far away from him.

 

Still, even as he tried to stay as far away from her as possible, for her to avoid living his own misery, Dallas took time to braid Eve short hair once in awhile, creating precious memories with her, while keeping her as far away from Jeffrey and Raymond as possible.

 

And so, Eve was able to grow up happily, never suspecting what happened behind closed door between her favorite oldest brother and the rest of her family.

 

And she never questioned either why she had so many beautiful dress growing up that she never had to buy. She just figured out it was because they were rich and never had to knew a thing until she was much older. Or rather, Dallas never told her anything until she was much older.

  


If Dallas was able to preserve her innocence if he could, then he would.

 

 

<.X.>

 

 

There was a strange balance between trying to stay as far away from his older brother and father as possible, while also trying to keep seeing his younger sister, to make sure she was happy and growing up safely. It was a strange balance, but Dallas soon understood: If he wanted Eve to stay happy, it was better for him to stay as far away from the family as possible. Like that, he could avoid her knowing all the dark story about his family, if he stayed as far away from her as possible.

 

But again, it was easier said than done.

 

Most of the time, Dallas preferred to avoiding staying in the house during the day, preferring to arbor the streets. Already, he started to recruit various street urchin under his wing, even if he couldn’t give them much of a guidance. They were just a bunch of boys, not yet men, not even teenagers yet, doing mischief, but not creating too much trouble for anyone really.

 

None of his comrade knew a thing about Dallas family.

 

Well, it was a miracle or more because of luck, accidently hearing words being passed between his father and brother, that even he knew about the illegal occupation of his own family.

 

And if he could avoid it, again, Dallas would do anything in his power for Eve to not know the sad truth.

 

But again, it was easier said than done, even if he was living mostly out of the house, Eve still adored him, despite him being mostly out of her life.

 

It was not like his own older brother or if his father was there for the young girl either. They were never home too, but Dallas preferred to avoid any contact with them either. But still, it was such an alien feeling for Dallas, to cross the path of his house, trying to be as silent as possible, only to be pounced on by an eager little girl waiting to play with him.

 

 

It was strange but not unwelcome.

 

Even if he didn’t feel at home in his own house, Eve could still be a home for him.

 

Yes, Dallas did feel guilty to avoid her as much as he did, but it was not like he had most of a choice.

 

If it was for her safety, he would be the most terrible brother he could, just to keep her safe. And he knew, Dallas would still be welcomed back with open arm and a huge grin.

 

Dallas knew he didn’t deserve any of Eve affection, but it was not like he would reject any of it, even if he didn’t deserve nice things happening to him.

 

 

<.X.>

 

 

The first time he meets Luck Gandor, it’s at a corner of a street and he can’t say that it’s love at first-sight, but it certainly something. Something confusing, something terrible, something that should not have happened, because he is a boy and boys are supposed to like girl, God damn it, and this certainly a something Dallas never had to deal with before, ever since he figured out who he was.

 

Luck appeared like a bolt of lightning, with eyes judging his every move, despite the fact that Dallas was pretty sure that they were the same age, just moving into puberty and that’s maybe why things were so confusing.

 

All the other boys in his gang are growing up and gaining more muscles, but Dallas still stay small and frail. And as he observes the other boys, Dallas can’t stop from remembering his late mother, confined to her bed, never able to get out. Treated like a princess, but also like a bird meant to stay in cage. And that’s why Dallas promise himself that he would prefer to die as a free bird, instead to be confined to a cage.

 

And Luck Gandor will most surely than not cause the death of him.

 

He appears at the corner of a street, while Dallas is just resting with his gang. Their activity had slightly shifted into more illegal territory lately, just some light pick-pocketing here and there, nothing to warrant the attention of someone from the Gandor family. And indeed, Luck Gandor doesn’t pay any attention to them, just passing in front of them, with a judging look despising their very existence. As if, they are just a nuisance for him. As if they will never contribute to anything in society.

 

Well, Dallas already knew that about himself, but still, Luck Gandor eyes pass through him and he can hear the sound of his heart breaking somewhere in his chest.

 

He’s never felt that way with anyone before, the only thing he can compare this to is the feeling when he finally gets to spend a little time with Eve, without worrying about anything happening to either of them. Except there is no joy, it’s just pain and confusion, and Dallas know he’s not supposed to feel this way.

 

He’s still young, but Dallas tries smooching a girl, just to know how it feels, just to know if there’s something wrong with him. He doesn’t feel the same kind of electricity as he felt when Luck looked right through him, as if he seemed less than dirt in those beautiful troubled eyes. Plus, when he feels one of the girl (he can’t recall her name, but he knows she’s a little older than he is and he wonders for a moment why she agreed to kiss him and why is she touching him so casually) hand resting on his thigh and inching higher slowly, Dallas feels like he’s about to puke and brutally push her away.

 

 

Eve comes to give him a blanket, when he’s back at home and crying in a corner of his ancient room, that is now Eve own room, because they didn’t have to re-do the soft pastel colored tapestry.

 

He didn’t have to say anything, but still it was nice to have someone who could understand him. Even if he didn’t say anything to Eve.

 

Even if he still thought he didn’t deserve any of this.

 

 

<.X.>

 

 

Eve believed in God. Dallas didn’t.

 

 

He just never was taught how to believe in anything, so he didn’t know how.

 

And if there was a God out there, it could only be something that just little kids or naif people would believe in, because no one having lived a real life could ever believe in a God. If there was a God out there, then why was he never there for Dallas? Dallas felt abandoned from everything. The only constant thing in his life he knew that he could always trust to be here for him, was only Eve. His beautiful innocent younger sister that loved him despite everything and also, believed in God with a childish naivety to her.

 

But maybe it was because she never had to knew the hardship he lived that Eve could believe like this without a trouble in the world. The world was a wonderful place for her and Dallas tried as hard as he could to preserve this innocence, even now that she was older. Even if that meant make her hate him.

 

Dallas already knew that he didn’t deserve to have Eve affection. He was hardly here for her when she grew up, despite all his effort to balance ‘’avoiding the hell out of the rest of his family’’ and ‘’still see his sister’’. And so, he decided that she had to hate him. After all, Dallas represented all the twisted things in their family, it would only have made sense if she would hate him. From being the cause of the cruel abandon of their father, to knowing the true business that him and his older brother dealt with and finally, apparently being the spitting image of their mother, having the same eyes and the same skinny arm and leg. It was only made sense if Eve would hate him. And yet, she didn’t.

 

Eve always loved him, despite him trying hard for her to hate him.

 

Dallas regretted his harsh words towards her, because she was a pure little fairy living in a bubble of happiness, but at the same time, he envied her so much for having this simple existence. Even if he was the one that made sure she could have this life in the first place. Even if he knew that he once could have had this life if he just accepted to live a lie.

 

But he preferred living as a miserable freebird, no longer full of delusion about life that to live, then to live as a caged princess, when he was a prince in the first place.

 

Though his place was most likely as the villain in the story, Dallas thought as he slammed the door of his sister room harshly.

 

But it was alright. He could bare to be the villain, if only Eve could take the role of the princess.

 

 

<.X.>

 

 

Dallas was pretty sure his nose was broken. Every inch of him were shivering from the cold as he laid on the ground of the cold dark alley, and yet, he continued to click his lighter, despite this one being out of gas, trying to light up the cigarette he holds between his lips.

 

He wasn’t really a smoker, worrying about the state of his lungs, hoping he didn’t inherit that trait from his mother as well. So, he avoided smoking as much as he could, but as his body, bruised and broken was lying on the cold hard ground, Dallas thought that a cigarette could at least warm him up a little.

 

He didn’t plan to get beaten up like this. You never planned for those things, but it wasn’t his fault this time. He just was at the wrong place at the wrong time and stumbled upon bad peoples. He wasn’t supposed to see what he saw and that was why they had beaten him down and then, left him for dead at the bottom of this dark alley, with a bruised body and just a single cigarette and a broken lighter.

 

 

Despite knowing that it was hopeless, Dallas kept trying to start the lighter, but all it did was click aimlessly as he continued to shiver from the cold.

 

The street had become colder and colder as winter arrived and yet, Dallas knew that in the state he was in, he would never be able to get home by himself. And even if he could, he would never dare to present himself like this in front of Eve eyes. He couldn’t let her see her like this. She had to keep believe that he was alright, that he was this ungrateful bastard able to live on his own, so that she could stay as far away from him as possible. She didn’t have to see his body and all the purple flowers blooming all over it. She didn’t need him. And if she didn’t need him, surely, Dallas didn’t need her as well.

 

He didn’t need anyone.

 

 

A noise at the beginning of the alley made him slowly and painfully lift his head up, no longer concentrating on the cigarette between his lips, but focusing on the silhouette approaching him. Maybe it was because he had previously hit his head, but Dallas had difficulty pulling things into focus, before he finally realised that Luck Gandor was standing right in front of him.

 

And he was looking at him with a mixt of wonder and pity in his eyes.

 

Dallas scoffed. He didn’t need any pity, maybe the guy was just there to finish the job and kill him. He had no idea from which organisation the men he had accidentally surprised came from, but since it was the Gandor turf, Dallas knew he was in deep shit.

 

So instead of acknowledging the young mafioso presence as Luck Gandor was watching him (Finally, he was noticing his presence, maybe a few years too late, but Dallas had Luck Gandor eyes on him), he decided to return his focus to the cigarette he once again failed to light up. His muscles were all freezing up, but at least with the warm of the cigarette if he managed to light it up, what would come next wouldn’t be so bad. If this was his last moment on this earth, he decided that they at least would be enjoyable God damnit.  

 

 

But instead of the meteor shower of black and blue bruises coming to haunt his body, Luck Gandor simply looked at him, before sitting down next to Dallas as well. It was strange to see a mafia exec dressed in a clean suit and looking so much higher in society than Dallas, sitting down at his level. He didn’t say anything, simply took out a box of cigarette and his own lighter to light one up between his thin lips.

 

 

Dallas would be lying if he said he wasn’t jealous of Luck Gandor. His existence was so different from what he knew that he simply didn’t understand the man.

 

Luck had everything. The power he desired in front of the mafia, a good relationship with his dad (he supposed, Dallas didn’t know anything, but Luck wouldn’t hold himself like that so high above other if he didn’t have to fear for bruises coming down on him) and mostly, a good relationship with his siblings, that he could see everyday.

 

 

Dallas didn’t know a lot about the Gandor siblings, as far as he could tell, they were all assholes. Luck included, but maybe he wished for things to have been different between him and Jeffrey and him and Eve… Mostly Eve. He had so many regrets about Eve.

 

 

While Luck calmly smoked the beginning of his cigarette, Dallas continued to try to light his, even if he knew it wouldn’t give anything. And so, he looked full of hate in his eyes at Luck sitting next to him and smoking oh so easily and just a little mockingly.  And so, Dallas asked him, while throwing him his broken lighter:

 

“What do you want from me bastard? Isn’t that enough, me lying there, beaten up by your men, but you decide to come here and mock me? Screw you.”

 

 

Luck didn’t answer for a moment, just continued to calmly smoke his cigarette.  The insult didn’t seem to have phased him. He must hear much worse during the day. Mafia exec probably heard much worse. No, Luck simply moved a little, to sit a little closer to Dallas and said:

 

“… I can help you, you know.”

 

 

Dallas, still the unlite cigarette between his teeth, simply scoffed again, while frowning. As if he would accept any help from a Gandor. As if he would accept help from anyone. He didn’t need anyone. And so, his only answer was to look at Luck Gandor in the eyes and provoke him silently to just try him. He couldn’t break Dallas more, he was already at rock bottom.

 

 

And yet, Luck fist, like Dallas had expected, never came. No, Luck simply inched closer once again, coming so close that their two faces were just a few inches apart. Dallas looked at Luck with round eyes. What was the other man doing? And yet Luck just kept inching closer and he swallowed nervously as this one simply put the end of his cigarette at the end of Dallas’ cigarette. Dallas reminded that he should probably breath in, as he had hold his breath during all this exchange. The wall of smoke coming into his mouth surprised him so much that he began to cough lightly, while still trying to hold his cigarette in his mouth.

 

 

Luck Gandor had lighten up his cigarette with his own fire. The moment Dallas realized this, the young man was already on his feet and walking away from the alleyway.

 

 

And yet, Dallas still felt a fire in his chest that didn’t came from the warm of the cigarette.

 

 

Dallas later decided that he would come back home for the evening and let Eve take care of him, creating a story behind the purple bruises on his body. Hardly likely that she believed him, but it didn’t matter.

 

 

He never let her known about the fire he felt in his chest.

 

 

It was something that had to be kept between Luck and him. That even if they were enemy, they could still get along and have a moment like this.

 

 

 

Dallas still had this thought in mind when he woke up and was sinking down at the bottom of the river.

 

 

And so, as the free bird gets his wings caught up in concrete and he drown and drown and drown and drown, his dreams sink down as well and they drown and they drown and they drown.

 

 

And he thought he couldn’t get any lower

 

 

 

<.X.>

 

 

Air is coming into his lunges and Dallas feels like he can finally breath.

  

There is a lot of sounds, a blinding light and suddenly, a pair of arms is holding him oh so tightly. Yet, even in this contracting embrace, Dallas has never felt so alive before.

 

 

He can feel Eve body shaking from the sobs she tries so hard to contain and Dallas himself tries to keep the tears at bay.

 

Eve shouldn’t cry. Not for him. He doesn’t deserve her tears.

 

 

And yet, he is so happy to be able to see her again, he thought that he would never be able to see her again, to say sorry for everything that he has done, to say sorry for not having been a better older brother. But now isn’t the time to say all those things, he’s just so happy to see her again and with much difficulty, hold her back in his arms just as tightly.

 

  

Because even if he is the one that always tried to protect his sister, she always has been his strength and he wouldn’t give anything of that away.

 

 

 Behind his sister, even if Dallas vision is still a little blurry, he can see Luck Gandor, looking at him with a mix of guilt and wonder in his eyes.

  

Even in this situation, Dallas still feel the fire in his chest and he understand that they will have to talk a lot later.

 

 

But for now, he’s just happy being hold by his sister and feeling for once in a long time, loved and in safety.

 

 

 

The fire in his chest is still there, but none of the bruises are.

 


End file.
